Middle Age Mommy - Keeping It All Together

I was recently diagnosed with Lupus.  While it is a crummy diagnosis, I am at least glad that I finally know why I have been feeling off for the last handful of years.  I really thought I was going to lose my mind.  The pain, the fatigue, swollen joints that wished me a "good morning' each and every day....all are a result of this silly autoimmune disorder that I am unlucky enough to have.  I know that my husband, friends and family must have thought I was a hypochondriac.  I was always tired and something always felt weird.  I thought... "Am I imaging this? Certainly I cannot feel bad - again!"   So, I have my diagnosis after a little blood test showed the Smith anti-bodies were positive, throw in a little Raynaud's Syndrome, swollen, painful joints, and pleurisy - and yourself got a nice little Lupus salad, dressing on the side please.  My husband has coined the term "Lupus Poopus".  I like that.  It is poopy. Stress.  It is bes...

I have returned to ballet class.  I have missed class for the last, oh....25 years.  I can assure you that 25 years ago, my center was strong, by shoulders relaxed and my turn out..spot on.  I could lift my leg over my head, pull a triple pirouette and land it!  Today I bobbled my balance, drug my toes and wore my shoulders like earrings.  That is okay.  During the first 3 minutes of class, I was swimming in self shame.  I quickly did something very uncharacteristic...I let go of that shame and gave myself a mental pep talk (while doing a pilates style core exercise that about made me throw up).  I told myself that I am taking the road to health, strength and mental stimulation.  It all starts with the first step. There I was, in a class after a 25 years, once again taking that first step, or chasse' if you will.   I grew up dancing, and I had some success with it.  In college, as a student, I actually taught a college leve...

We are in the process of packing up my parent's house in preparation to put in on the market.  Mom is now safely living in a memory care unit at a full time care home.  She has been there 8 weeks.  Dad is going to downsize and move closer to where Mom lives now.  As we gather, organize and pack, we are deciding who gets what among Mom's things.  That feels weird.  Mom loved her pretty things.  Mom has a lot of things.  I know that she would want us to have what we feel a sentimental attachment to, and she would be happy knowing her pretties have a good home...but here's the deal...She is still with us in the physical world.  I am having a real issue with that.  I guess it might be easier to divvy up a person's possessions after they are have departed this realm of being.  Intellectually, I recognize that my mother will never use her Christmas cookie-cutters again. The days of Mom setting a beautiful table with her china are long go...

Oh there is just so much I want to talk about, but I cannot seem to get it together.  Focusing is tough.  Life has been stressful lately.  There have been, what I am now calling, the "every two weeks emergency" ,  since it seems that every two weeks something dramatic happens. The latest was Dad going into the hospital with double pneumonia, followed by Mom talking a fall when she decided to walk herself (she cannot walk unassisted) to the back porch.  I have been suffering with a bad sinus infection, and, only to add insult to injury, with a bout of the H-pylori virus also.  Let's toss in the stress of working my territory to assure that the state of Georgia shows well in the numbers game at the end of the year (by the grace of God, so far so good).  My most important role, as a mother, has me trying to keep my son on track in preparation for kindergarten (he is reading!).  Forget about keeping the house in order, laundry done and dinner on the t...

I was going to title this latest blog, "Helpless and Overwhelmed - The Plight of a Working Mother", but then I thought that would be insulting to those moms who are considered  'stay at home' mothers.  I got caught up wondering how the term 'stay at home mother' even started.  Back in the day, most mothers did stay at home.  The term 'working mom' just does not cut it either.  Mother's, whether employed or not, are always working.  There are pluses and minuses to both options. I know it feels like I am always working.  Prior to leaving the house each morning, I have made a breakfast, packed a lunch, helped dress my child, made sure his hair is combed, his teeth are brushed, and has his backpack.  All the while, I slugged down a cup of coffee and tried to make proper order of my own hair, face, teeth and clothing.   I then drive up the highway to drop him off at school, only to get back in my car to start my work day.  Whew!  I...

Spring has arrived in the south.  It is beautiful.  The trees are blooming, bulbs are pushing up, and the temperature is wonderful.  Everyone is sporting their flip flops and jockeying for position on the patios and decks of local restaurants and bars.  I have lived in Atlanta since 1990.  In that time, there have been a handful of scary moments with the weather, specifically tornadoes.  Just a few years ago, downtown was ravaged by a twister.  The storm struck the 71,000-seat Georgia Dome at 9:45 p.m. during a Southeastern Conference tournament basketball game. It shattered windows and tore roofs from buildings, including CNN Center, before continuing into several residential neighborhoods.  We are in-town dwellers, and that was a pretty scary storm.  We were oblivious to it, in the midst of hosting a dinner party, but someone did comment that it was a little windy outside.  Just down the street, literally, less than a half mile, the...

I was about 10 years old before I discovered the Beatles.  Do the math.  I was born in November of 1963, and the Beatles first US tour started in February of 1964.  That made me 3 months old.  Fast forward to my  grandparent's home in Georgetown, Kentucky, somewhere around 1973...my grandmother handed me a few 45's she thought I might like.  What she put in my hands, were several early Beatles records that my aunt had purchased in the early 1960's and never took with her.   I did not know that I had been given the gift of original early Beatles 45s on the Capital yellow swirl label., but what I discovered was "Ticket to Ride", "Please, Please Me", and "I want to Hold Your Hand".  I flipped.  My musical exposure up to that point had been my parent's Peter, Paul and Mary albums, Kingston Trio and the Smother's Brothers.  My Republican parents had a penchant for counterculture music.  I had just started listening to Top 40 radio ...