Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Here we go....

It is 2011 and growing up in the 1970's and 80's, I never even thought about the world tick-tocking over to the twenty-first century, but here I sit in 2011.  I never thought I would be sitting in a home office, listening to my almost 5 year old son battle Clone Troopers with his father on a PS3.  A home office?  A husband and a son?  Does this somehow make me a grown up?  I guess somewhere between the post college party years and finding myself a niche in the Architecture & Interior Design industry, I grew up.  Sort of.  I am 47 years old, married for a little over 5 years now, and my son will turn 5 next month, but yet I still worry that I will get caught with no ID when buying alcohol, and there is the struggle with paying the power bill, or buying the new shoes.  Luckily my husband keeps me in check.  The power bill is paid, and I have learned to bargain hunt.  The intention of this blog though, is to make me look in the mirror and rediscover the Jennifer from the last century, and the dreams, desires (not the desire for Danial Ash to take me on tour and be his love slave, but the desires of my life's course), and the plans that she had.  Next, let this 47 year old version of her apply those dreams and desires to the here and now.  No, I am not dancing on Broadway, choreographing for a famous dance troupe, and I am not hidden away in my basement studio painting masterpieces.  All of those were dreams that had some legitimate talent driving them, but never materialized.  Why?  Well, I lacked drive, and I was never super-duper talented, just moderately so.  I can accept that.  But I digress. I want to incorporate those old dreams into my current world and respect them.  For example, I gave up a true passion, dance, many years ago, the reasons will be discussed in a future blog.  This year I am currently choreographing a musical for a middle school, and having a blast working with the kids.  

I am a little scared of this challenge, but excited.  Also, I am going to use this format to laugh, cry and discuss my family - my mother's Alzheimer's, father's lymphoma, the challenges of being an older mom, my ever changing body, being a stepmother, a sister, and finally, a wife.  This is not just to look at old dreams, but to help create new ones for myself.  Personally, the last 2 years have really stunk.  There have been life changing health issues for my parents and the economy drastically changed our lifestyle, and some of our short term family goals (no mountain house for the next few years).  There has been a ton of laughter though.  I believe that things will get better.  I know I am a lucky gal with a great family, a great bunch of friends, and a great life to date.  So...welcome to you.  I hope you will take this journey with me, and I promise not to censor myself just because I know you are reading.

Much love - XO-Jenn

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