Middle Age Mommy - Keeping It All Together

Summer is here and it is HOT-HOT-HOT.  Along with the heat, some big changes have arrived.  I am officially unemployed.  I have mixed feeling about this as I loved my job, and my designers...I will miss them, however a huge weight has lifted and for the first time in several months, I do not feel like I have ADD.  I will be spending the summer concentrating on my mother and my family.  It has come time to move mom into an acute nursing facility. With a heavy heart  my father, sister and I will start the process of interviewing and touring local facilities to find the best place for her to live.  I am anxious, scared and reluctant to move her.  She has been very content for the last year in her current memory care facility.  However, due to the fact that mom is no longer ambulatory, state law dictates she go to a facility that can assist her in case of fire or other emergency.  Also, her needs have progressed to the point where she must have full time care with the simplest of tasks

Spring is here and I am decidedly happy about it.  I am a fall baby and typically relish the colder weather, but this year's winter barely made an appearance.  There were no snow flurries and no reason to have a fire in the fireplace.  I figure we might as well get on with this business of summer and get it over with.   I have a renewed enthusiasm for fashion and desire to get my middle-aged body moving again, so I might as well take advantage of what the warmer weather has to offer.  Making that statement on my blog, in front of my peers holds me accountable....that and the prospect of my 30 year high school reunion this summer (yes, 30...and ouch).  Let's get the old body moving and fill up the closet with clothes and shoes!  That is what I call motivation.  That...and a few other things.   I have mentioned many times that I am an older mom.  My son is now 6 and I am well into my 48th year.  I have yet another reason to get my sluggish self moving.  I need to stay youn

Atlanta Botanical Gardens holiday lights I have been away from my blog for awhile...I  am uninspired. Christmas has come and gone, and I enjoyed so little of it.  The new year is demanding attention, and I will soon be forced to give in to it.  I am dragging these last few days of 2011.  The ever present auto-immune disorders are nagging at me, and I have a bad case of the holiday let downs.  Holidays have lacked in appeal for me these last few years.  The shopping, cooking, cleaning and preparing for the big event is tiresome and any time I get to actually enjoy the holiday is fleeting.  I desperately want to find that peace and joy that this time of year is supposed to bring.  It is lost on me.  Don't get me wrong, I adore preparing Christmas for my son and step daughter.  It is pure pleasure watching them enjoy their moment.  That is really the only joy of Christmas for me. I guess that I am left to wonder, where is my moment?  Sounds selfish, I know, as Christmas is not abo

I was recently diagnosed with Lupus.  While it is a crummy diagnosis, I am at least glad that I finally know why I have been feeling off for the last handful of years.  I really thought I was going to lose my mind.  The pain, the fatigue, swollen joints that wished me a "good morning' each and every day....all are a result of this silly autoimmune disorder that I am unlucky enough to have.  I know that my husband, friends and family must have thought I was a hypochondriac.  I was always tired and something always felt weird.  I thought... "Am I imaging this? Certainly I cannot feel bad - again!"   So, I have my diagnosis after a little blood test showed the Smith anti-bodies were positive, throw in a little Raynaud's Syndrome, swollen, painful joints, and pleurisy - and yourself got a nice little Lupus salad, dressing on the side please.  My husband has coined the term "Lupus Poopus".  I like that.  It is poopy. Stress.  It is best avoided.  It is rea

I have returned to ballet class.  I have missed class for the last, oh....25 years.  I can assure you that 25 years ago, my center was strong, by shoulders relaxed and my turn out..spot on.  I could lift my leg over my head, pull a triple pirouette and land it!  Today I bobbled my balance, drug my toes and wore my shoulders like earrings.  That is okay.  During the first 3 minutes of class, I was swimming in self shame.  I quickly did something very uncharacteristic...I let go of that shame and gave myself a mental pep talk (while doing a pilates style core exercise that about made me throw up).  I told myself that I am taking the road to health, strength and mental stimulation.  It all starts with the first step. There I was, in a class after a 25 years, once again taking that first step, or chasse' if you will.   I grew up dancing, and I had some success with it.  In college, as a student, I actually taught a college level class for the dance department.   I always thought I

We are in the process of packing up my parent's house in preparation to put in on the market.  Mom is now safely living in a memory care unit at a full time care home.  She has been there 8 weeks.  Dad is going to downsize and move closer to where Mom lives now.  As we gather, organize and pack, we are deciding who gets what among Mom's things.  That feels weird.  Mom loved her pretty things.  Mom has a lot of things.  I know that she would want us to have what we feel a sentimental attachment to, and she would be happy knowing her pretties have a good home...but here's the deal...She is still with us in the physical world.  I am having a real issue with that.  I guess it might be easier to divvy up a person's possessions after they are have departed this realm of being.  Intellectually, I recognize that my mother will never use her Christmas cookie-cutters again. The days of Mom setting a beautiful table with her china are long gone. Dad will never use these things, s